Wordless Wednesday #1

Radioactivity Effect

Nightmare at server room

source: TechRepublic

Singapore MRT Graffiti Vandalisme

Heard the news?!..Singapore MRT was graffitied by Oliver Fricker(caught) and his accomplice Briton Lloyd Dane Alexander(still at large).

Singapore already inform INTERPOL in order to catch Briton Lloyd Dane Alexander. Believe to be in Hong Kong.

Oliver Fricker is a business consultant and part-timer grafitizer.

Best Humor Show

Just For Laughs Gags

Just For Laughs Gags is a Canadian silent comedy show that is under the Just For Laughs brand. JFL Gags airs on CBC Television and The Comedy Network in Canada, and on Telemundo in the United States. This series' format is the typical hidden camera comedy show, playing silly pranks on unsuspecting subjects while hidden cameras capture the people's response (similar to UK hidden camera comedy shows). This show plays music in the background, but does not contain any sound and dialogue (except for brief sound effects and laughter) but you can occasionally hear the actors and victims talking. It is filmed in downtown Montreal and rural Québec although some segments are filmed in the UK or Mexico. Sound effects, music and a laugh track are added in post-production.
The show is shown in many countries and on airlines, because no translation is required. Viewers commonly can't tell if it is Canadian or British due to the style.

The Just For Laughs Gags formula has been used by the BBC for UK audiences. However, the formula has been used before Gags did, such as Candid Camera and The Tonight Show though both of these shows used a large amount of dialogue.

A sister version of the show is produced in Northern Ireland and is called simply Just For Laughs. Most of the show is filmed in and around Belfast, Northern Ireland; Leeds, England and Glasgow, Scotland; however, some clips are shown from the Canadian show. The format of the show, however, is identical to that of the version filmed in Canada. The British version is produced by Wild Rover Productions Ltd [1] and was broadcast on BBC One in Saturday teatime slot (usually between 5 - 6 pm). In early 2009, Five bought the repeat rights for the series and episodes are currently being shown on Five sister channel Fiver.

Barber in New York

There was once a very good barber in NEW YORK , who gave Free Haircuts to everybody who came into his shop to have their haircuts.

One day a florist went to him for a haircut.
After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber, but  the barber replied:
'It's alright, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Florist was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open his shop,
there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door .

A policeman went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'

The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open his shop,
there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

A Malaysian software engineer went for a haircut and he also wanted to pay the barber after the cut.
But the barber replied: 'I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service.'
The Malaysian software engineer was very happy and left.

The next morning when the barber went to open his shop, guess what he found there.............

Can you guess?

Come on, think like a Malaysian.....

have you got the answer ........... ?????

come on ......

WomEn anD eNgiNeeRs

Do you know that some super-intelligent engineers have come up with some equation about womens?!..They also got graph on womens. Well you should see this cause it will ring you a bell..hehe..jeng..jeng..jeng..

 

Just for laugh

Just now i watch this video with Acop. Do you know what happen next?!..I laugh till i burst into tears.This video is so damn funny. I you guys out there want to cheer up your day, better see this video. The way they act are so damn funny.

Best joke in Britain

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

p/s: This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain

Planes you would have never seen before

have you ever seen a weird plane?!..hehe..if not welcome to the club..











weird huh?!...well,thats technology dude..

Happy flying..

p/s: i never been on a plane..poor me..

Story for professional

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON:   "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"


DAD:   "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.



SON:   "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"


DAD:   "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"

the man said angrily.


SON:    "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an

hour?"


DAD:    "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour."


SON:     "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.



SON:   "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"

The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you
can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then
you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about
why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this
childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.

How dare he ask such questions only to get some
money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to

think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs.50 and he really didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.



"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.


"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the

man.


"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.. Here's the

Rs.50 you asked for."


The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry

again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up
at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father
grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he
begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We
should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily
replace us in a matter of days.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the
rest of their lives.  And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than to our family.

Are you Female or Male?

To find the answer just look down...........

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LOOK DOWN...NOT SCROLL DOWN!!!...gotcha=p

Wise Kid

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut : "Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"

Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!".

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?

Abu: 9

Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?

Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6", Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?

Abu: (berfikir) Kaki

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?

Abu: Saku

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A", ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?

Abu: Kelapa

Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar lembik dan melekit?

Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?

Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Bersalaman

Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?

Abu: Baik Cikgu

Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.

Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.

Abu: Khemah

Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.

Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.

Abu: Cincin perkahwinan

Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.

Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.

Abu: Hidung

Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.

Abu: Anak panah

Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?

Abu: Okay

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and end in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Abu: Firetruck

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.

Abu: Fork

Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It's longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?

Abu: Surname

Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?

Abu: Heart

Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata "Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya; jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah".

NORAD track Santa

Salam to muslim...Mahalo to non-muslim...as we entered December, the Christian will celebrate christmas..There some new i found about Christmas and North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) and Santa..hehe...NORAD have been doing this every year...no wonder that's why they didn't manage tracked the three hijacked airplane dude..[chuckles]..

Is there any evidence that Santa was caught in the action when sending the gift through the chimney?!..Is there any other works for NORAD rather than tracking Santa?..No offense, but i am not making fun of Christian believers...I am talking about NORAD..why they need to do this?is there any relevance?..As far as i know Christmas is about the birth of Jesus or Isa(Islam prophet)..How the hell Santa got involved in Christmas?I found that Santa was created in 1773..see here..

Desperate Housewife..

Hallo..this is some joke that i found here...

Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,

Desperate Housewife

_______________________________________________

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wavfiles.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,

IT Support

Bad Dream..

Have you ever dream about vampire or what we malays called 'pontianak'?!i have dream it so many times..huhu..last time it happens yesterday..it happens like this..i was laying myself in front of my friend's pc which broadcasting the movie 300..as i was watching the movie,i am shock that i am in a car with my uncle...and the radio is playing misha omar "pulangkan", i told my uncle to pump up the volume but my uncle refuse because he said that i will see 'pontianak' at the tree if i pump up the volume...i dont believe in him, so i didnt care about the advice..

After that,i try looking into the trees to if my uncle advise is right..suddenly..i saw something at the tree top......and of course what my uncle said was true!!!i was something like the picture above!!!!!!!i thought it was only one 'pontianak',then the number was increasing rapidly....and it was all looking at me..imagine the feeling i felt that time...hahaha...suddenly i heard "This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny and usher in a future brighter that anything we can imagine.Give thanks, men...to Leonidas and the brave three hundred.To victory!".......in was the ending part of 300..lucky me the voice of that man in the movie wake me up or else..i got to face thousand of pontianak...then the movie that i am downloading "Bridge To Terabithia" already finished..i search the english subtitle in the internet and again i watch the next movie!!!!!!arious